Retro Planet Baby Boomer

NCIS Los Angeles – An Incredibly Bad TV Show

This show is a spin-off of an only slightly more watchable show, NCIS. The people responsible for this piss-dribble seem to have taken what little believability and credibility the original show had and made, as incredible as it sounds, an even worse television show!

How does this show suck? Let me count the ways… Wait, I don’t have a strong enough processor for that. Let’s just list some of the most notably insulting stupidity.

First off is their appearance. This not only goes for their office, which looks like it moonlights as a surf shop, but their personal appearance as well. Get this… These are Government Agents, but because they are in Los Angeles, they all wear shorts and sandals and t-shirts to work! Wow, how professional. They also seem to have no regulations for hair or height. The original show at least makes it feel like an actual team of Government Agent professionals that dress and look the part. But, these disheveled bums looks like they beg for change at a freeway off-ramp.

Most of the characters on the show are whiny or otherwise gratingly annoying. Take the two computer nerds, which it seems every agency must have. They run around in their un-tucked Hawaiian shirts and shorts like smarmy children. Sometimes they let the girl (Nell Jones) out of the cool computer lab and out into the field! The problem is, she’s about 5-foot nothing and weighs about 90 pounds soaking wet. Yet they play her off as some kind of bad ass that’s able to defeat any 6-foot tall 260 pound bad guy that gets in her way. Watching her fight scenes makes it painfully obvious that most of her moves require a LOT of cooperation from the opponent.

What is their fascination with short women on the show? One of the main characters, Hetty Lange, is also vertically challenged. Her backstory is that she used to be an undercover operative! Did she infiltrate the Lollipop Guild? Someone like that would stand out in a crowd and be immediately identified! That person in real life would have been dead two or three assignments into their career! Nothing against the actress (Linda Hunt) but it’s just not the role for her.

Again, these aren’t the faults and criticisms of the actors, but of the shoddy writing and poor production that leads to a completely unbelievable and unwatchable show. But hey, let’s just go with the bullshit.

In a stroke of pure stupidity, the brains at CBS decided to do a crossover with another one of their shit-stupid shows, Scorpion! The smarm was off the charts that night! It seems in that episode they each hired the other to search for viable plot points! They each failed miserably.

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