Hollywood Claims Russia Hacked The Oscars

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Russia Hacks the Oscars

Russia Blamed For Hacking The Oscars

Hollywood’s brightest minds gathered and selected actor’s that had previously made money pretending to be cops, federal agents, and private investigators to get to the bottom of the Oscar’s biggest goof (next to giving Comrade Michael Moore an Oscar for Blowing For Columbine).

After deliberating via cell phone from each of their limousine’s, the group decided that it was long time liberal scapegoat Russia that was responsible for turning their self-indulgent love-fest into the laughing stock of Sunday night television.

“After all,” said professional pretend secret agent Matt Damon, “They hacked the election, therefore all indications are that Russia wanted the Oscars to fail in response to us mocking the presi… Ooh look, a butterfly!”

The Hollywood braintrust has assigned Inspector Clouseau and Detective Frank Drebben to the case. Despite being told by many normal people that both of those characters weren’t real and the actors that played them were in fact dead, the Lear-jet Liberals continued to support their decision for a special Hollywood counsel.

Meryl Streep, fresh off her performance of staying within the lines of a lengthy  Thomas The Tank Engine coloring book, said she will do all she can to get to the bottom of the scandal. “We don’t need Russia’s help embarrassing ourselves, we do that just fine on our own,” she said, citing the shitfest offered as ‘Best Picture’ contenders in the last decade. “If Russia is involved in hacking the Oscars, this could mean impeachment of the president! I like muffins.”

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5 Responses to Hollywood Claims Russia Hacked The Oscars

  1. Ah, the revelry of the self congratulations among the isolated and extremely rich, smiling, in their ten thousand dollar horrible costumes, making a case for forward thinking politics and demanding to be heard over the applause of the common peons.

    Enjoying a good movie without the accompanying political statement from the left is almost a lost art in this country. If I wanted to be lectured about the correct way to govern this nation, the last person I would tune in to would be Streep, Moore, and the other ‘stars’ who seem they think that they are on the same playing level as us, the working stiffs who make their wealth possible.

    Next are the lip syncing, talentless, bores who prance around on a stage and pollute the air with their meaningless drivel that passes for some sort of melody and lyrics, all the while screaming how the leaders they detest are the true talentless bores that they want to see replaced.

    And of course let’s not forget the twice weekly awards show to hand out yet another $5 trophy that represents the ‘best in the biz’. Woody Allen said it best in ‘Annie Hall’… “Awards! They do nothing but give out awards! I can’t believe it. Greatest fascist dictator, Adolf Hitler!” …. and then ‘Annie Hall’ won an award for best picture. Oh the irony…

    Is that a new Audi that I can buy ???

  2. Beavis says:

    Thanks RO for the awesome comment. I’m working on expanding the website and instead of posting these on Facebook streams I thought I’d add them to the site.

    Haven’t seen Annie Hall in decades and that’s an interesting coincidence 🙂

    This hollywood meltdown sure is entertaining… More so than they crap they put out. maybe make a movie about that!

  3. Thanx Beavis, the continuing story of election, leaks, failed programs, more leaks, email leaks, finger pointing, fake news, large walls, divisiveness, etc etc is a never ending, very entertaining look at life played out in rapid fire 10 second soundbites… The Oscars’ were entertaining in the fact that they screwed up the most ‘important’ part of the show, what a laugh..

    ‘I’m working on expanding the website and instead of posting these on Facebook streams I thought I’d add them to the site.’

    I’d say just post to both sites… Get the crowd to see both sites, one will drag the viewer to the other.

    I’ve got to admit that Annie Hall is one of my favorite movies, Christopher Walken’s performance was pure comedy genius…He is only in the movie 7 minutes or so, but very, very funny. Tony Roberts stole the show from the minute he appeared on screen.

    Also, just saying, my favorite movie of all time is ‘Slaughterhouse-Five’, and my favorite book, too. And I’ve seen thousands of movies and read an equal amount of books… 2) ‘Lolly Madonna XXX’. 3) ‘2001, A Space Odyssey ‘.

    Worst movie… ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’, just bad in so many ways. My 2 girls think it’s the best, go figure.

    And if I am forced to watch CNN one more time I will shoot my tv with my S&W .357…. They need to mail a box of Kleenex to all their viewers… Went from reporting the news to one opinion after the other in a never ending cycle that in the end, reports nothing.And I used to think they did a good job.

    Enough rambling, thanx for listening my friend… 📺

  4. wanton87 says:

    Good write up Beavis. It’s good to still be able to still follow you and RO, and a few of the other familiar members following the IMDB shutdown. I haven’t been to a movie theater since about 2001, and do my best to keep my money out of the pockets of these delusional hollywood idiots. I prefer the older productions, sans the propaganda, anyways.

    Gave you a plug over at Previously TV Alaskan Bush People forums, so you may have noticed an up tick in web traffic.

    Keep up the good work.

    • Beavis says:

      Thanks Wanton. I’m in the same boat a bit. I haven’t been in a movie except a few times since mid 2000’s, despite being able to get in free (I have a relative managing a theater in town). Nothing worth sitting through 🙂

      I appreciate you spreading the word. Traffic has been pretty good lately. Sad that IMDB closed their boards though.

      Have a great weekend!

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