Well, it’s a sad day for fans of this shitshow… The last episode of the season, which means the last time we can make fun of these grifting chuds until ParkSlop decides to piece together more scrambled footage and feed it to the unsuspecting masses as a ‘reality’ show.
This episode continues the downward spiral of what little ‘professionalism’ ParkSlop had left. It was boring as all hell and ended on a cheaply scripted / shot note. I’ll apologize in advance if this recap isn’t very good, but look at the garbage I have to work with! 🙂
I actually listened to the intro again while getting ready to write this. The narrator tells us that the family moves on despite BullshitBilly’s ‘brush with death‘. What brush with death? Avoiding work isn’t life threatening, and now that we know the cause of the seizures seems to be the onset of work needing to be done, it’s totally under control. It wasn’t so much a brush with death it was a ‘brush with work‘.
This episode starts out with the Brownklownz freeloading in Pelican. Wolverine and ExtremeBore decide to deliver the training dummies to the fire department. They think that the fire department will be totally impressed with their shittily-made garbage dummy that anatomically looks nothing like a human being.
Wolverine takes a break in front of the post office and has to explain to locals what he’s doing with 300-pounds of dead weight… And the training dummy.
Next, DuhVinciNoah actually does a little work along with ExtremeBore and Bum. They deliver tractor tires to a woman, who then asks them to replace the tires on her tractor. This is perfect script fodder for ParkSlop to again try and convince us that a barely functioning simpleton like DuhVinciNoah ‘invents’ a ‘bush’ way to put a tire on the rim… Something truckers have been doing basically since tires were invented. But hey, DuhVinciNoah invented it so just buy into the bullshit.
First, the Brownklown Boyz must get the old tires off the rims. The lady informs them that the tires are filled with liquid. Bum rips right in with a knife which according to DuhVinciNoah will make the process take 20 minutes instead of 10. DuhVinciNoah is very sad because no one listens to him. No shit. You’re a moron. No one with any sense would listen to you ever! Sorry.
Back in town, BullshitBilly and SpotlessAmi act like they give a shit about anyone besides themselves and attend a ‘Blessing of the Sea‘. This ceremony is tainted by the attendance of non-bush living people filming a bullshit show.
Back to the boyz. DuhVinciNoah suggests cutting a slit and letting air pressure push the water out. Luckily, there just happens to be a generator right there! What are the odds? It works and we are supposed to be impressed with this knowledge. I wonder if the ParkSlop intern that Googled that for the script got credit?
Next, they have to get the tires onto the rims. Here comes DuhVinciNoah and his scripted physics knowledge. He says to use ether, spray it on the rim, and the pressure will mount the tire on the rim. I wonder how many takes it took to get it right? This is a great example of why PSA’s are made.I call bullshit on the whole tire mounting thing the way they did it. In order for the tire to mount using the pressure of expanding gas, both the inner and outer lips of the tire must be inside the rim otherwise the expanding gas just escapes out the other side which is wide open! Look at the picture above and see that only one lip is inside the rim but the entire bottom of the tire is hanging down outside the rim. Total bullshit! But, a quick cut-away scene with someone who knows how to do it makes it look like these buffoons are the genius’s because when they show the tire ‘POOF’ing onto the rim, the other lip is now magically on the inside! Oh, ParkSlop, you make my job so easy.
DuhVinciNoah tells Bum he has gray hair, which leads to next season’s ground-breaking invention, Grecian Formula.
BirdBrain and AcidRain (Merry Hanukhha Who Cares Jingleheimer Schmidt) have a talk on the beach. They decide they miss Mutt and hope he returns soon. BirdBrain goes back to sporting her Linda Belcher look for the ‘confessional’ shots that are filmed months later when the show is ‘edited’ and a final version is shat out. They showcase their trademark bullshit ‘howl’ hoping Mutt will hear it.
After the break, DuhVinciNoah and Wolverine take a trip to the dump and find a phone booth. DuhVinciNoah says, “There’s no telling what I can do with this thing.” Most likely the thing he will eventually do with this thing is junk it.
Wolverine decides to shake the phone booth with DuhVinciNoah inside it. This angers the bush genius and he yells at Wolverine, telling him, “GLASS… And Ilubanin!” What the fuck is ilubanin? Is it a new element he discovered? Now the periodic charts must all be updated.
Wolverine makes fun of him and he receives a slap on the back of the head. Good thing the cameras were there otherwise I think Wolverine would have destroyed his androgynous, dumpy ass.
Even the other Brownklownz wonder what the hell he’s going to do with the phone booth. They load it onto the SS Grifter and haul it back to the filming location. The next ten minutes are spent showing Captain Hazelwood and the SS Grifter heading from Pelican back to the once pristine land they’ve destroyed by hauling in a bunch of garbage from the dump and leaving it strewn all over Browntown.
SpotlessAmi laments the fact that Mutt will not be there. As they pull into the bay, they see a bear. BullshitBilly tells them that they should be careful because bears are dangerous. Wow, there’s some advice you’d only get from a bush veteran!
More yawn-inducing bullshit ensues as the Brownklownz act like they’re happy to be back at the filming location. Not to worry, filming will be over soon and they can go back to their real home in Hoonah.
BullshitBilly tells his chuds that he wants them to move Wolverine’s house into Browntown while he takes a nap, then the filming location will be complete! At least until Discoverup loses the lease on the land. I find it funny that the narrator still refers to ‘Browntown’ as a ‘homestead’. LOL.
After the break, Bum, Wolverine, and ExtremeBore re-attach the front steps that were taken down before they left. Wolverine thinks gravity will hold them in place, but Bum thinks they need some nails to make it sturdy.
After they attach the steps, Wolverine and ExtremeBore decide to test how strong it is by both jumping on it. It cracks (you can actually hear the crack and see where it starts to come loose). The dull-witted kidz seem to not hear it as they announce that it is secure.
Cut to AcidRain and BirdBrain who walk the meadow eating plants off the ground. Is that really safe? She can’t stand the taste of tap water but eats weeds out in the wild? She also eats paint chips apparently. Well, they’re the bush people so I guess they know best.
Back on the SS Grifter, the kidz haul DuhVinciNoah’s phone booth onto the island. Wait… Where’s DuhVinciNoah? Shouldn’t he be helping? He’s probably off inventing something important like an artificial appendix or something.
I don’t get the next part. He says he’s going to use it as a power station with a breaker panel to control all of the electricity that will be flowing through Browntown.. The thing I don’t get is that they seem to want to have modern things like electricity, houses, street lights, and roads… So why not live in TOWN! Oh, wait… They do. How bush is your lifestyle when you are surrounded by modern conveniences?
ParkSlop apparently ran out of anything interesting to show us next because most of the rest of the episode is spent showing the Brownklownz trying to move Wolverine’s house to it’s final location in Browntown… which is apparently just off the beach?
BullshitBilly and SpotlessAmi decide to help them out by using the SS Grifter to pull the ropes that will slide Wolverine’s house slightly up the beach to it’s final resting place.
Cut to DuhVinciNoah building his bush electric station. He installs bush junction box to house the bush breakers and bush wiring that will provide electricity for their bush lifestyle. He explains that he needs the most electricity because sometimes his experiments survive… I mean get out of hand.
Back to moving Wolverine’s filming location set. BullshitBilly and SpotlessAmi use the SS Grifter to move it a bit and are instructed by the kidz to stop so they can reset the ropes. Once that’s complete, ExtremeBore signals them to go and they move it further onto the beach. By the way… did you know Gabe’s middle name is ‘Starbuck’? I shit you not. Got it from the official page! Maybe it’s an omen for his career after this show is finally put down.
Wait, what’s this? Oh-No’s, just like BullshitBilly, the SS GRifter refuses to move! It won’t start and now he and SpotlessAmi are stuck on the boat without anyone to fix it for them!
There are numerous cut scenes of SpotlessAmi and BullshitBilly acting like they are in the slightest bit of danger.
In the short segment, Wolverine again breaks into another cheer routine to motivate ExtremeBore’s flag waving. This is in preparation for their new bush-movie, “Bring It On: Extreme Bush Edition!”
BullshitBilly does minimal work fixing a loose battery cable that DuhVinciNoah must have left unsecured when he worked on the boat last episode. The footage of BullshitBilly doing work is about as rare as capturing a unicorn on camera!
Finally, Wolverine’s house makes it to it’s final resting place. BullshitBilly and SpotlessAmi take time to walk to the beach where they are to meet Bum, who is in town picking up Mutt from rehab. As the boat turns the corner, the Parents of the Year see that only Bum is in the boat! It seems Mutt got sober, realized his situation, and decided to escape the clutches of his overbearing, useless parents. Good for him!
What a shitty cliff-hanger! Fear not, BullshitBilly says Browntown will live on! Let’s hope so, that way we can continue making fun of this horribly produced shitshow!