Surprisingly, this episode was a little easier to watch because America’s favorite incompetent twatwaffle, NoDuh, is not appearing in this episode. ParkSlop is now getting episode tips from Monty Python.
We are reminded AGAIN that these events are happening in real time. Except that they are spliced together in some hap-hazard fashion to play to the narrative laid out by ParkSlop writers. For example, they make it seem like Scami is going through Chemo THEN BullshitBilly takes her and the chuds to Colorado where he says he will ‘pull over and build a house.‘ But, the trip to Colorado was done BEFORE she started her chemo. Man, ParkSlop, Discoverup, and the entire BullshitBrown family are sure milking this cancer thing for all the sympathy money they can get!
In the opening segment, BirdBrain, AcidRain, and Bore clean up the Hoonah dump… no wait, it’s Browntown. The family of slobs seem to care nothing about the environment or the (once) pristine land of Alaska judging by the amount of shit that is strewn across the filming location.
Oh wait, seems ParkSlop can only show ten seconds of this without showing Scami and BullshitBilly and mentioning how sad it is that this bush living coughbullshitcough family is sad and suffering emotionally because the Discoverup paychecks will be ending soon… I mean because Scami has cancer.
Bore says they need to remove everything that doesn’t belong in the bush… LIKE THEMSELVES!
Oh wait, here we are back seeing Scami at the hospi… HEY! There’s Bilky’s Rolex! We hadn’t seen it in so long I was afraid they broke up.
The doctor tells Scami she has to get a small tattoo so that they can concentrate the treatments to the same exact spot every time. This tattoo is important later on.
Bilky, the Grand Narcissist, makes a point of telling us how HE is holding up during this traumatic time. As long as there’s a camera on him and he’s getting paid, I’m sure he’s fine with it.
BullshitBilly and Scami talk with Doctor Bird 2.0 to get some insight into the upcoming treatments.
Back at the filming location, Bore wonders how to get the disc-brake rotor with broken wooden pallet blades on the SS Grifter and back to Kaliforny because it means SOOOO much to the family.
Since all of them are incompetent, ParkSlop hires Trapper-Keeper to pilot the SS Grifter to Juneau so the chuds can offload the scraps of memorable garbage they gathered and get it sent to their new home in the bush part of Topanga, California.
Remember Trapper-Keeper? He’s the dull-witted idiot who told BullshitBilly’s chuds the story of how his boat got stolen and then about a month later BullshitBilly gives it back saying he was ‘sold’ the boat by the ‘real’ guy that stole it and since he’s a forthright, honest man he returned it to Trapper-Keeper? Maybe someday the poor dumb bastard will figure it out.
AcidRain and BirdBrain gather Devil’s Club so they can take it back to Scami. They claim it has medicinal purposes and seem convinced it will cure cancer a lot better than big city medicine.
Back in Kaliforny, BullshitBilly and Mutt talk about his accident. Mutt tells his Duh that he Franken’d himself. Despite his deficiencies, I think he has a long way to go before he Al Franken’s himself. BullshitBilly tells him he was ‘close’. I think he means ‘close’ to being ‘off’ the show. Mutt still looks like shit despite his Men’s Wearhouse For Bush People make-over.
Back at the filming location, Trapper-Keeper arrives and tells the chuds that he heard there is a bush family that wants their boat! Trapper-Keeper tells Bore the family is excited to meet them and get paid for being script fodder for a horrible cable-TV show.
It shouldn’t be too tough of a decision since they never owned the boat! It’s another rented prop just for the show, like the cannon, Browntown, girlfriends, etc..
After the break, Bore, AcidRain, and BirdBrain read lines from the script and try and decide if they should sell the SS Grifter. Again, they never owned it so it should be a no-brainer. Pffhhhtt! Get it… No brainer.
BirdBrain gets teary-eyed talking about how the gravy train of Discoverup paychecks is about to end, but we’re supposed to believe it’s because she doesn’t want to get rid of something that’s meant so much to them over the years. And by that I mean something they’ve filmed on for a couple weeks a year over the last few seasons.
As AcidRain and BirdBrain act like they clean the inside of the Ketchikan construction company built filming location cabin before the ParkSlop interns arrive, we see the Discoverup Channel’s promo picture of these assklowns hanging on the wall.
Back in Kaliforny, Mutt waxes retardingly about his accident. yawn. Let’s see what the other chuds are up to back at the filming location. Bore is trying to rig an overly engineered solution to getting the disc-brake rotor and wooden pallet blades safely to the ground so they can take it back and show it to Scami.
Bore explains his love/hate relationship with rope. I’m not really on one side or the other when it comes to rope, but if he hung himself with it, I’d be the biggest fan of rope EVER!
Mini-might sees a bear and uses all of his five-foot nothing manhood to scare it away.
Back in Kaliforny… man, there’s BullshitBilly showing off his fancy bush jewelry again! Mutt decides to build a vibrator… I mean a tattoo gun so he can get a tattoo just like mommy. Why not just go to a tattoo parlor and have a professional do it? All the Brownklowns have tattoo’s. In NoDuh’s case he has several, and they’re all shitty! But no, ParkSlop has to push the narrative that these bush people do everything themselves with shit they find laying on a dirty deck in a home in the Topanga bush.
He turns it on and is shocked at how vibrat-ey it is. He tapes together some tetanus-inducing looking piece of shit that is sure to fail miserably. Wow, he made a pinhole sized dot which is sure to require medical attention later in the day.
Back at the filming location, Bore, AcidRain, and BirdBrain are STILL trying to load rented crap onto the SS Grifter so they can get their security deposit back. Ten minutes are wasted showing them trying to load it onto the roof of the boat. Man, ParkSlop must really be scraping the bottom of the barrel trying to find ANYTHING interesting that they show these incompetent non-bush fools doing. Maybe after the commercial they’ll show us something interesting.
Nope, sorry. We’re back watching even MORE footage of them trying to load the rented cannon onto the boat they don’t own so a competent captain can drive it somewhere to be scuttled. While they’re doing that, let’s check out some of the interesting things AcidRain and Wolverine have been doing in Kaliforny! I tell ya, as a fan I can’t wait to find out what trivial, pedestrian thing these unemployed, uneducated chuds do while other people are leading productive lives. Speaking of that, why isn’t AcidRain in skool? She’s 14 and by all accounts should be in a classroom. We’ve seen how Scami’s home-skoolin’ has worked out for the other dull-witted chuds so you’d think she of all people would realize the importance of a good education.
OK, back in Kaliforny, bored Mutt and Bum play something resembling nothing. As with everything Brown, it goes nowhere and turns out to be a big waste of time. Mutt complains he has nothing to do and is very bored. They discuss something that already happened and that is taking Scami to Colorado and pretending like they are going to live there like bush people.
Back at the filming location, Bore, AcidRain, and BirdBrain meet the hired extra’s pretending to be interested in a soon to be scuttled piece of shit. The father claims he wants to live like the Bush people… Sooooo, in Seattle, Phoenix, California, Colorado, and Las Vegas?
Right before the break, Bore announces to them that they don’t want to sell the SS Grifter. Oh-NO! What will happen next?
Well, in the ‘short’ segment, Bore plays with NoDuh’s bells. Good lord.
Back in Kaliforny, BullshitBilly tries to read the medical information about Scami’s treatment. At the filming location, Bore tells the hired actors… Sorry, FAMILY that they want to GIVE them the SS Grifter! Wow! How fucking generous considering you dumb chuds don’t own it! I noticed they never showed Bore and the guy’s kids in the same shot, thus not highlighting his EK-Shtreem dwarfness. They give the boat to them on a handshake. I wonder if the helmet wearing, short bus riding, window licking fans of this show realize that there’s some paperwork involved. But hey, let’s not ruin it for those simpletons and let them believe that this is really happening and is in no way bullshit.
In the preview, Bore, AcidRain, and BirdBrain finally finish looting the filming location and return home.
Before we end, let’s talk a little bit about what the Brownklownz have been doing since filming wrapped. it seems that AcidRain and Wolverine have hired Social Media consultants who, for a fee, convinced them that what they say and do is relevant and important and that there are millions of fans hanging on their every word and action. As a result, we’ve seen a plethora of candid shots featuring the dull-witted chuds doing the most boring and pedantic activities known to the internet.
Wolverine has started posting ‘sexy-time’ photos that serve only as epicac for the masses unfortunate enough to view them. For example, there’s him relaxing by the pool with his feet in the air. Oh, and let’s not forget the one of him shirtless with a rose in his mouth in front of a fireplace. JesusHChristOnACross. If there wasn’t actual proof of this online I would swear it was make believe.
See if you can guess which of the images below were PhotoShopped:
You’re guess is wrong. The correct answer is “Who gives a shit?”
So, until next time, bushies, we say MORE… Bullshit!