The Brown’s New Cow Was Only Rented For Filming

Alaskan Bush People Cow in Browntown

A cow arrives in Browntown for the new season of Alaskan Bush PeopleFor all those that STILL believe this shitshow is remotely ‘real’ or accurately represents this family of vagabond gypsies, here’s another fart in your diving helmet!

In recent weeks we’ve seen a surge in advertisement for the next season of Alaskan Bush People. One of the common things ParkSlop and Discoverup are inserting into every ad is the fact that the Brownklownz are getting a cow. Y’know, cuz their really building a town that they can live in year round and be self sustaining. Yawn.

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let’s get on with the story at hand. The whole ‘cow’ story line… Complete bullshit. I know, big surprise right! It seems that ParkSlop just rented a cow for a few weeks of filming so the fans can fawn over this great bush family trying to scrape by and become self-sufficient. That shot of AcidRain kissing the cow (no, not BullshitBilly) is so touching, right?

According to the below the cow was rented for a month then taken to her final home to live out her days.

Alaskan Bush People Cow in Browntown

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Is ParkSlop even trying anymore? I guess they figure they’ve got enough helmet wearing, short-bus riding fans that they could portray the Brownklownz doing anything and they’ll believe it! Let’s hope in the new season they don’t try hard. It makes spotting the bullshit easier, and funnier.

One thought on “The Brown’s New Cow Was Only Rented For Filming

  1. This is quite cynical, but consistent with Discovery Channel standards.
    The reason a cow gives milk is that she has a baby cow. The baby cow is taken away from her, butchered, and she gives milk for nearly a year, when she is then bred again to have another baby cow, and the cycle is repeated.
    If the article is correct, this cow is aging out and drying up – no milk to be produced. That means we will be looking at more Brownclown fakery, as they pretend to milk the cow and produce butter as well as the milk. And we have to pretend that the cow will survive the winter that we never see, with no hay fields necessary to feed her.
    I’m afraid that the fact that I continue to watch the Brownclowns is an indication that I must be losing my mind.
    But keep up the good work, Beavis.

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