Toad Warrior

Year: 1996
Relase Date: N/A
Country of Origin: USA
Runtime: 80 min
Director: Donald G. Jackson, Scott Shaw
Writer: Donald G. Jackson (screenplay), Scott Shaw (screenplay)
Starring: Scott Shaw, Joe Estevez, Conrad Brooks, Jill Kelly
IMDb Rating: 3.0 (94 votes)
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: N/A

The Earth is being swept by a toad plague. Enter, the lone Samurai, Max Hell (Scott Shaw), the Earth’s last hope to save the planet from the mad clutches of Mickey O’Malley (Joe Estevez).

Beavis’s Movie Memories

Just when you think the well of BAD movies was running a bit dry, along comes a treasure like Toad Warrior that restores my faith that Hollywood will continue to produce a ton of easily riffable crap for generations to come. You know you’re in for a terrible ride when your movie features Joe Estevez.

The story is about… the most disheveled, disjointed piece of cinematic crap I’ve seen in a LONG time (and I recently re-watched Mission Impossible). There were so many flashbacks, flash-forwards, and flash-sideways I couldn’t tell who was doing what to who at what time. Very confusing when your watching a movie simply for it’s riffability, then trying to give a synopsis of what the movie was about after the show. The editing was so poor, I’ve seen better cutting by OJ Simpson!

Scott Hell plays Max Shaw. Oops, sorry, Scott Shaw plays Max Hell (like it matters). Throughout the movie, there are female characters dressed like they just walked out of a Robert Palmer video. The ‘special effects’ used to make the toad creatures was predictably horrid. Everything you could ask for in a ‘B’ movie was delivered on time and on budget in this film.

The only saving grace in this movie is Jill Kelly, known mostly for her work in porn movies. I guess she thought this was her chance to break into mainstream cinema, but since this cine-turd performed so poorly, going back to porn was a sensible decision.

There is an interesting tie in with another crapfest reviewed on this site: Scott Shaw later went on to do an episode of ‘Seinfeld’, as did the doe-eyed cutie from last week’s Christmas thriller Silent Night Deadly Night.

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