ABP Episode Recap S03:E03 Rock Paper Skipper

Alaskan Bush People New Series

What a week it’s been! ParkSlop left us on the edge of our seats with last week’s episode ending with the family scurrying about and Mutt telling us that “… If he only has 24 hours left” blah blah blah! Oh-No’s, did something major happen to BullshitBilly or one of the other Brownklownz? Fear not, it was all bullshit. More phony hype from a phony TV show about phony people. At least I’ll sleep better knowing that BullshitBilly is well. Let’s dive right in by talking about the phony ’emergency’. Wolverine, ExtremeBore, and Birdbrain are up high on a hill … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S03:E02 Shots Fired

In the opening scene we see what happens when the BrownKlownz take the leash off ExtremeBore. He runs around the island, covering himself in his own scat, and tells us he is scouting new hunting locations. I hope he’s careful not to run into any of the other people or small towns that exist on the island! Next, Mutt explains that SpotlessAmi is still in the hospital with a neck ‘injury’. Wait… How did she ‘injur’ herself? She doesn’t do anything. Plus, it started hurting when they were on the boat last week. Anyhoo, nothing to see here. The BrownKlownz … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S03:E01 Bait and Tackle

It’s finally here! The new season, and maybe last season, of Alaskan Bullshit People. Thankfully, it did not disappoint. ParkSlop started out OK by teasing us with the fact they may have actually garnered a bit of professionalism and integrity by jumping right in to a good old fashioned family game time and tree chopping. But, it didn’t take long for them to slip back into their old habits of poor editing, bad storytelling, and bullshit backstories that have more holes than the SS Grifter. The episode started out showing the Brownklown Boyz engaging in a game of tag… in their … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E16 Never Give Up

Alaskan Bush People - boat runs out of hydraulic fluid.

Hang on to your hats! In this week’s action packed episode the Brownclownz actually deliver something they told someone they would, Mutt pokes his eye out, and after successfully spending more than they made, they return to the filming location and found it’s been Browned! In the opening scene, we pick up where we left off. BullshitBilly discovers The SS Grifter has a hole and he needs to plug it. SpotlessAmi is right there to constantly point out that the boat is a piece of shit, making him realize that there are now TWO holes he needs to plug up! … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E15 Sink Or Swim

Alaskan bush People -Ami demands grandbabies

In this week’s episode, the Brownclownz deliver their shipment of empty barrels to a remote cabin, SpotlessAmi demands grand-babies and drives away DuhVinciNoah’s girlfriend, and the SS Grifter gets a makeover. This episode should have been titled “Watching Paint Dry.” It was incredibly slow moving and uninteresting. But hey, there were quite a few awkward moments that made it utterly forgettable. In the first 20 minutes we are treated to another circus act of Brownclownz hauling their empty barrels. As the SS Grifter reached it’s destination, the boyz pull the skiff to the side and begin loading the barrels. They load … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E14 Rocky Seas

 HEY Folks! Another week, that means it’s time for another steamy pile of Alaskan Bullshit People. For a parody bio on the cast, visit the Alaskan Bullshit People Intro. The episode starts out by showing SpotlessAmi and her fantastic teaching skills. Here she is teaching AcidRain about chemistry (or something involving sticks and rocks). We’re supposed to be impressed with the depth of knowledge this woman is espousing to her children, but what is she expecting those kids to do with these skills? Instead of teaching advanced, high level rock and stick chemistry she should spend time teaching her kids about dental … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E13 A Big Gamble

Alaskan Bush People boat integrity

Well, another week. That means it’s time for another recap of Alaskan Bullshit People. SpotlessAmi, Birdbrain, and AcidRain head out to the beach for some target practice. I thought Birdbrain was the ‘marksman’ of the family, although we’ve only seen her with a rifle in her hand for 2 minutes total in all previous episodes. BullshitBilly always sends out the boys to do the phony hunting (see S02:E11 Episode Recap) when they’re not eating in Hoonah or at the craft services table ParkSlop provides. Merry Hanukkah Who Cares Jingleheimer-Schmidt bets her mother and sister and wagers hugs and kisses that she can … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E12 Bloodlines

This week’s episode had it all… and by ‘all’ I mean all of the BS you’ve come to expect from this fine example of ‘reality’ television. In the opening scene, the Brownclown Boyz and BullshitBilly walk out to get their skiff ready. Get this… Somehow the Lorcan’s anchor lifted itself and it floated out to sea. I thought BullshitBilly was an expert commercial fisherman and he and his boyz have been around boats as long as they can remember? Yet they somehow forget something as simple as securing an anchor point?!?! Was the fisherman’s lifestyle before or after you lived isolated … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E11 Divide and Conquer

alskan bush people - Bear gets ready for a date

Get ready folks, this episode of Alaskan Bullshit People contains a self-dressing deer, magical chickens, and a guy named ‘Blue Beard’. So, let’s dive right in. We start out by hearing BullshitBilly tell us how the Brownclownz are starving and they need to put some food on the table. Really? We’re two seasons into this and you just now talk about needing food? What have the Brownclownz been eating the last couple of years? Oh that’s right, they eat in Hoonah! In one laughable scene, SpotlessAmi, Birdbrain, and Acidrain pretend to be planting a garden… in the middle of winter… on … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E10 Rise of Browntown

Alaskan bush people - Noah builds a clothes dryer

Grab yourself a big bag of snacks, kick your feet up, and get ready for this weeks exciting episode recap of Alaskan Bullshit People. In this forgettable episode, SpotlessAmi decides her boys need to surround her with grand-babies and hires a matchmaker, DuhVinciNoah invents a clothes incinerator, and the Brownclownz settle in to their cabin… Built by a Ketchikan construction company on land leased by Discoverup Channel. As usual, ParkSlop spends the first minute of narration trying once again to convince us this traveling band of vagabond grifters really has been living in the bush for the last 30 years. The narrator … Continue reading