Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S07:E03 Strength In Numbers

Alaskan Bush People move to Colorado

Breaking News: The hell with their mother’s health, the Chuds spent the 4th of July in Vegas at the Bellagio! Sorry… the BUSH Bellagio. I wonder if ParkSlop will cover that in their ‘real time’ coverage of events? Fear not. A few gullible fans took it upon themselves to start GoFundMe pages for the Brown’s. I shit you not. Online groups have been trying their best to have them shut down and have been successful so far. Let’s hope the Brownklownz don’t make any more money off gullible fans. No time to waste. Let’s get right down to it! In … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S07:E02 The Long Road

Let the bullshit countdown begin! Let’s see if the show can go more than 10 seconds without spouting the first bit of bullsh… And there it is! The narrator tells us that it has been weeks since NoDuh heard anything from his dull witted siblings regarding Scami’s condition. What, is the phone in your Hoonah Extended Stay broken? What about your bush cell phones? What about the ParkSlop production dildo’s following you around? You couldn’t borrow any of their phones to call AcidRain who’s cell phone is always hanging out of her back pocket when she poses for photos in … Continue reading

Noah Brown Wedding Rumored To Be In Colorado

Tonight the rumor mill is flying with reports that Noah Brown and Rhain (spelled differently of course) are getting married in Colorado tomorrow (June 24th). This has not been confirmed but we do know the Brownklownz were headed there a couple days ago and the film crew has been reported there as well. There are several posts on Instagram and Facebook that document the Brownklownz were in fact on the road and heading from Kaliforny to Colorado. Some sources point specifically to Dolores, Colorado. Why get married there? Why not Browntown? Oh well, who cares. We will continue to monitor … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S07:E01 Faith And Family

Billy Brown's Rolex

Allow me to take a moment before we start the review. Cancer is serious and we would never wish it or the suffering it brings upon anyone. We realize that there is still a serious situation going on in the background. Reports are that Ami has stage 4 lung cancer. Very bad news indeed and we truly hope she is able to beat this. Well, last week’s “Season Premier” turned out to be a complete turd, but have no fear because this week’s episode was… Well, also a turd. It prodded along at a snail’s pace and featured about as … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Spend Harsh Alaskan Winter In… Phoenix?

Alaskan Bush People don't live in Browntown

Well, part of it at least. I know fans of this shitshow will lecture me about how their favorite lovable band of phony ‘bush’ people deserve a vacation now and then and enjoy their new found minimalist success, but let’s point out something about their ‘vacation’: They have been away from the ‘bush’ for more than just a vacation. Season after season you see proof that these phonies spend the harsh Alaskan winter, which they spend all TV season preparing for, in more hospitable climates. This year it’s been amazingly in-your-face just how full of shit this show is. All … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S06:E08 Wind And A Prayer

Alaskan Bush People raising the wind turbine

Well, here we are. The latest season of the shitshow known as Alaskan Bullshit People has come to an end. This season set the bar pretty high when it comes to bullshit, so if there is a next season they’re really going to have outdo the lies and untruths in order to break this season’s record. On to the review. First, Mutt shows us how to establish dominance over a bear. It seems to just involve walking around their general vicinity with a gun. Mutt waves at the bear in an attempt to show his dominance. This season’s main piece … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S06:E07 Field Of Dreams

In the opening sequence, BirdBrain walks over to see Mutt and the massive amount of meat he supposedly has in his bullshit meat locker. We never see inside, but magically he pulls out exactly what BirdBrain wanted, some ribs… with sugar. Since we never see the inside I think that scene may have been altered a little. Next, Wolverine, BirdBrain, and AcidRain act like they give two shits about the rented cow they have to take care of during the time of it’s lease. They decide to see which one Sabrina likes best by going to alternate corners and calling … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S06:E06 All Falls Down

Oh boy, another shit-tastic episode of Alaskan Bullshit People! I can’t wait to see what lethal weapon ExtremeBore aims at his face this week. I’m going to apologize in advance if this recap gets a little “Rated R for strong language.” I think it comes from watching two episodes three days apart. I can’t fucking believe the bullshit that opens the show. Here we see Mutt and Wolverine stuffing bacon into shotgun shells! What? He claims they just want to scare the bears when they shoot at them. Why not just shoot in the air? Christ, the ek-shtreem stupidity of … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Epsiode Recap S06:E05 One Brown Down

Bird Brown puts sugar on eggs

Well, here we are. Another week another bullshit packed episode of Alaskan Bullshit People. Same as last week. This episode was so boring and uneventful so there’s not much to riff on. Let’s dive right in. In the opening scene, Mutt shows how he makes coffee on a boat. Cuz… Y’know, he’s a seasoned fisherman. I suspect that’s not coffee he was wanting. When we left off last week, we saw the SS Grifter was out in ‘open ocean’ facing mildly inclement weather. The chuds are barfin’, Scami is bithin’, and BullshitBilly is Bullshittin’. Let’s recap the bullshit so far. … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S06:E04 Dead In the Water

Well, it’s that time again. Time for you to put on your helmet and board the short-bus to Browntown! Just a quick note… this will probably be a short recap as there wasn’t a damn thing interesting or remotely viewable that happened this episode. The test pattern TV stations show right before signing off for the day was more interesting than this episode. But, let’s give it a try. The episode starts with Wolverine, AcidRain, and BirdBrain picking blueberries. Wolverine wishes he was an inchworm. Don’t set the bar too high there, buddy. I guess with their non-education, an inchworm … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S06:E03 Browntown Boom

Alaskan Bush People Matt builds a still

In the opening segment we see ExtremeBore trying to catch a chicken that he and AcidRain let out of the pen. Isn’t DuhVinciNoah living in the henhouse? I’m sure him and Rhain Carrot-Top Alicia will have a wonderful home amongst the chicken shit. Next, we see ExtremeBore again. He decides to cover the benches in a non-porous material because he’s tired of seeing the family sit on the flat, wet logs. So, he wants to solve the problem of watery seats by putting something on them that doesn’t absorb water? GENIUS! He hopes his mommy won’t find out that he … Continue reading

Noah Brown and Girlfriend Rhain Alicia In Vegas

With all of the Brownklownz spending their ill-gotten gains in Las Vegas, it was only a matter of time before pics of Noah and Ruth Rhain Alicia / Merrill were spotted online. Here’s the two of them doing something no one should care about except to incessantly mock the ongoing bullshit of their lives compared to that portrayed in their TV show, Alaskan Bush People. Life sure is different for the Brownklownz as opposed tho ones found in Billy Brown’s books “One Wave At A Time” and “The Lost Years.” With all of the Las Vegas sightings I have to ask, … Continue reading