The Brown’s New Cow Was Only Rented For Filming

Alaskan Bush People Cow in Browntown

For all those that STILL believe this shitshow is remotely ‘real’ or accurately represents this family of vagabond gypsies, here’s another fart in your diving helmet! In recent weeks we’ve seen a surge in advertisement for the next season of Alaskan Bush People. One of the common things ParkSlop and Discoverup are inserting into every ad is the fact that the Brownklownz are getting a cow. Y’know, cuz their really building a town that they can live in year round and be self sustaining. Yawn. Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let’s get on with the story … Continue reading

Brown Family Loves The Non-Bush Life

Alaskan Bush People travel airports

Seems our favorite band of phony, incompetent outdoorsmen spent about 4-6 weeks in Browntown this summer to film the next season of their bullshit show, Alaskan Bush People. The rest of the time they have been enjoying life outside of Alaska in such places as New York, Oregon, Seattle, Colorado, and others. I remember a couple of seasons ago when BullshitBilly had to go on an airplane trip and he stated that the family hates to fly. I guess all that non-bush living money has enabled them to do what they hate most… FLY! Hawaii California New York Colorado Seattle New Jersey … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap – A Browntown Christmas

Alaskan Bush People Christmas Episode Recap

Let me start off by saying this episode truly pissed me off to no end. It’s bad enough that ParkSlop and Discoverup put this shitshow on the air in the first place, but to continue the web of lies and deceit about this phony bullshit family is an insult to anyone with a brain cell. They are still trying to pass this vagabond band of lazy phonies off as ‘real’ Alaskan’s that live isolated in the bush. Despite years of news to the contrary, there are still idiots that believe these people truly live the lifestyle they pretend to live during the … Continue reading

Just How ‘Bush’ Are The Alaskan Bush People

Noah Brown and his girlfriend

In the ‘off season’, the fans of this shitshow have been drooling all over themselves waiting to hear a broadcast date for the next season of these phonies. It hasn’t happened yet, but all the news that’s been reported around the web, with picture proof, paints a glorious story of how our favorite charlatans spend their time in the “bush”. For years now we’ve been harping on this incredible lie of a bullshit show. We’ve done our best, with the help of numerous others throughout the web (see the end of this post), to expose this fraudulent representation that Discoverup … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S04:E12 Made In The Wild

Alaskan bush People - Noah's experiment kit

Thank God Discoverup and ParkSlop decided to roll out another slipshod episode of Alaskan Bullshit People. I really wanted to know what kind of harrowing adventures the crew suffers while filming this shitshow. Plus, behind the scenes footage? Are you shittin’ me? Let’s dive right in. In the opening scene, ExtremeBore is making a… and there it is, the first piece of bullshit at only 18 seconds into the episode. This has to be a record of some sort. Normally it takes until after the opening credits to spot the first piece of laughable bullshit but man they broke the sound … Continue reading

Why Do The Brown’s Need A Boat Captain?

wreck-it-gabe Alaskan Bush People

As part of my episode recap last week, I included a screen shot of the end credits in which they list a “Boat Captain.” My question was, “Why do they need a boat captain? Isn’t BullshitBilly a 30-year seasoned veteran of the high seas?” Well, after watching two seasons of him sink boats and ram them into docks on numerous occasions, it’s apparent that captain Hazelwood would do a better job steering a boat than our favorite TV grifter. After some cursory research, I believe I have found more information on this captain. I’m not presenting this as solid fact, I’m … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S04:E11 – Browns Down South

Alaskan Bush People - Ami makes jelly and jam

Oh joy of joys! As predicted, ParkSlop grabbed cutting room floor material, glued it together, and shat out another “fish-out-of-water” episode of Alaskan Bullshit People. And it did NOT disappoint. Let’s dive right in and see how long it takes to spot the first line of bullsh… And there it is. SpotlessAmi claims that while driving BullshitBilly to one of his appointments the smell was unbearable… And so was the pollution. Living in cramped quarters with a room full of Brownklownz ISN’T the worst smell you’ve encountered? How about the smell of bullshit? Well, they’re probably used to that. Mutt … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap – S04:E10 Back In Browntown

Alaskan Bush People - Gabe cheers

Well, it’s a sad day for fans of this shitshow… The last episode of the season, which means the last time we can make fun of these grifting chuds until ParkSlop decides to piece together more scrambled footage and feed it to the unsuspecting masses as a ‘reality’ show. This episode continues the downward spiral of what little ‘professionalism’ ParkSlop had left. It was boring as all hell and ended on a cheaply scripted / shot note. I’ll apologize in advance if this recap isn’t very good, but look at the garbage I have to work with! 🙂 I actually … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S04:E09 Released To the Wild

I’ve said it before that this season is one long, drawn out bore. What used to take one episode is now spread out over a whole season. This episode is yet another grand example of that. So let’s dive right in with this week’s episode recap of Alaskan Bullshit People! In the opening segment, ExtremeBore and Wolverine install a broken down, barely functioning stool. No, not BullshitBilly, but an actual stool from a diner. They think it will make an excellent captain’s chair for the SS Grifter. Here we go again. ParkSlop’s narrator tells us once again how the Brownklownz … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S04:E08 Judgment Day

Another week of bullshit is in the can… Literally. Just when you thought this show couldn’t be any more turgid, boring, self serving, and phony, Discoverup and ParkSlop shed any and all integrity and self respect and produce another hour of Alaskan Bullshit People. One thing I’ve noticed this season is that they seem to spend a lot of time each episode trying to convince us that despite nearly all of them being found guilty of PFD fraud, they are still innocent. It’s someone else’s fault, as always. After all, BullshitBilly Karesh would never coerce his family into falsifying information … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S04:E07 Shots In The Dark

Alaskan bush People - building a raft

Another week and another steamy pile of Alaskan Bullshit People has once again wasted valuable ions transmitting horrible television to unsuspecting viewers. Let’s celebrate the pedestrian accomplishments of these challenged grifters in this week’s episode recap! In the opening scene, Wolverine helps Mutt construct a sad looking makeshift raft made from an inflatable mattress and a weed whacker. He will soon be the envy of every wannabe Cuban refugee. The purpose for the boat is not disclosed but, just like the Cubans, he is trying to escape a corrupt regime where you are expected to work for those in charge … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap – S04:E06 High Tide Housing

Alaskan bush people Noah experiment hydrogen

Back from their Southern California road trip, in which a man supposedly suffering from seizures drives an RV cross country, the Brownklownz return to the filming location and return to their old bullshit ways. Let’s jump right in. First off, AcidRain and Wolverine think that Browntown is complete and that there is no more work to be done. With that said, they do the only logical remaining chore and that is to create barely legible wood-burned signs pointing out all of the shacks and shotboxes that litter this once pristine land. DuhVinciNoah and Birdbrain aren’t much better. They decide to … Continue reading