ABP Episode Recap S03:E02 Shots Fired

In the opening scene we see what happens when the BrownKlownz take the leash off ExtremeBore. He runs around the island, covering himself in his own scat, and tells us he is scouting new hunting locations. I hope he’s careful not to run into any of the other people or small towns that exist on the island! Next, Mutt explains that SpotlessAmi is still in the hospital with a neck ‘injury’. Wait… How did she ‘injur’ herself? She doesn’t do anything. Plus, it started hurting when they were on the boat last week. Anyhoo, nothing to see here. The BrownKlownz … Continue reading

ABP Stars Plead Guilty To Fraud And Theft

Say it ain’t so! It seems two of the Brownklownz (BullshitBilly and Bum) have entered a ‘guilty’ plea to misdemeanor fraud charges for claiming residency in Alaska from 2009-2012. The hearing was originally schedule for January 8th but was apparently moved up when they decided to attempt a plea deal. But wait, it gets even better… BullshitBilly didn’t appear in court in person, he called in from Seattle! Wait, I thought these were real bush people that lived on the island where Discoverup bought the land and paid a Ketchikan construction company to build their cabin?? If he wasn’t there in … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S03:E01 Bait and Tackle

It’s finally here! The new season, and maybe last season, of Alaskan Bullshit People. Thankfully, it did not disappoint. ParkSlop started out OK by teasing us with the fact they may have actually garnered a bit of professionalism and integrity by jumping right in to a good old fashioned family game time and tree chopping. But, it didn’t take long for them to slip back into their old habits of poor editing, bad storytelling, and bullshit backstories that have more holes than the SS Grifter. The episode started out showing the Brownklown Boyz engaging in a game of tag… in their … Continue reading

New Season of Alaskan Bush People

Alaskan Bush People episode recap

It’s hard to believe, but Discoverup and ParkSlop Productions have once again decided to embarrass themselves by presenting another season of the God-awful, phony, horribly insulting waste of celluloid known as Alaskan Bullshit People. I guess it’s the last hoorah before the family ends up serving jail time for defrauding the state of Alaska. Let’s take a look at what we can expect from this (last) season of this despicable band of scamming grifters: BullshitBilly and the family will start the season by crying and whining about how mean bears tore down their shanty village. Look for lots of ‘whoah … Continue reading

Things Computers Can Do In Movies and TV Shows

bat computer

I found this a while back and saved it to an old hard drive. I was recently cleaning house and came across this list which surprisingly still holds up for today’s TV shows. I don’t know who to credit but would love to know! If you watch just about any show that writes itself into a corner, or just has lazy writing, you always see a computer that is magically able to point them in the right direction within seconds. They are able to hack numerous ‘mainframes’, get addresses and personal information on anyone, and even access the most obscure data (“What … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Stars Cited For No Fishing Licenses

Alaskan Bush People cast parody

BREAKING NEWS Read the full police report here. Our favorite ‘reality’ TV stars from Alaskan Bullshit People have apparently been cited for nefarious crimes involving fishing without licenses and in the case of DuhVinciNoah, giving false statements on an ADF&G License. Josh and Solomon Brown were cited for BOTH offenses. The list of perpetrators looks like the same list as those facing court in January of 2016 for ‘allegedly’ defrauding the state of Alaska. Below if courtesy of the Alaska State Troopers Press Release of Saturday, July 25, 2015 posted on the State of Alaska Department of Public Safety website. ——————————————– Apparently … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E16 Never Give Up

Alaskan Bush People - boat runs out of hydraulic fluid.

Hang on to your hats! In this week’s action packed episode the Brownclownz actually deliver something they told someone they would, Mutt pokes his eye out, and after successfully spending more than they made, they return to the filming location and found it’s been Browned! In the opening scene, we pick up where we left off. BullshitBilly discovers The SS Grifter has a hole and he needs to plug it. SpotlessAmi is right there to constantly point out that the boat is a piece of shit, making him realize that there are now TWO holes he needs to plug up! … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E15 Sink Or Swim

Alaskan bush People -Ami demands grandbabies

In this week’s episode, the Brownclownz deliver their shipment of empty barrels to a remote cabin, SpotlessAmi demands grand-babies and drives away DuhVinciNoah’s girlfriend, and the SS Grifter gets a makeover. This episode should have been titled “Watching Paint Dry.” It was incredibly slow moving and uninteresting. But hey, there were quite a few awkward moments that made it utterly forgettable. In the first 20 minutes we are treated to another circus act of Brownclownz hauling their empty barrels. As the SS Grifter reached it’s destination, the boyz pull the skiff to the side and begin loading the barrels. They load … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E14 Rocky Seas

 HEY Folks! Another week, that means it’s time for another steamy pile of Alaskan Bullshit People. For a parody bio on the cast, visit the Alaskan Bullshit People Intro. The episode starts out by showing SpotlessAmi and her fantastic teaching skills. Here she is teaching AcidRain about chemistry (or something involving sticks and rocks). We’re supposed to be impressed with the depth of knowledge this woman is espousing to her children, but what is she expecting those kids to do with these skills? Instead of teaching advanced, high level rock and stick chemistry she should spend time teaching her kids about dental … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E13 A Big Gamble

Alaskan Bush People boat integrity

Well, another week. That means it’s time for another recap of Alaskan Bullshit People. SpotlessAmi, Birdbrain, and AcidRain head out to the beach for some target practice. I thought Birdbrain was the ‘marksman’ of the family, although we’ve only seen her with a rifle in her hand for 2 minutes total in all previous episodes. BullshitBilly always sends out the boys to do the phony hunting (see S02:E11 Episode Recap) when they’re not eating in Hoonah or at the craft services table ParkSlop provides. Merry Hanukkah Who Cares Jingleheimer-Schmidt bets her mother and sister and wagers hugs and kisses that she can … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E12 Bloodlines

This week’s episode had it all… and by ‘all’ I mean all of the BS you’ve come to expect from this fine example of ‘reality’ television. In the opening scene, the Brownclown Boyz and BullshitBilly walk out to get their skiff ready. Get this… Somehow the Lorcan’s anchor lifted itself and it floated out to sea. I thought BullshitBilly was an expert commercial fisherman and he and his boyz have been around boats as long as they can remember? Yet they somehow forget something as simple as securing an anchor point?!?! Was the fisherman’s lifestyle before or after you lived isolated … Continue reading

ABP Episode Recap S02:E11 Divide and Conquer

alskan bush people - Bear gets ready for a date

Get ready folks, this episode of Alaskan Bullshit People contains a self-dressing deer, magical chickens, and a guy named ‘Blue Beard’. So, let’s dive right in. We start out by hearing BullshitBilly tell us how the Brownclownz are starving and they need to put some food on the table. Really? We’re two seasons into this and you just now talk about needing food? What have the Brownclownz been eating the last couple of years? Oh that’s right, they eat in Hoonah! In one laughable scene, SpotlessAmi, Birdbrain, and Acidrain pretend to be planting a garden… in the middle of winter… on … Continue reading