Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap – A Bush Christmas

OH BOY! The shitfest we know as Alaskan Bullshit People is having another Christmas episode! Both their fans will be SO excited. Don’t get your magic pantry bowl out just yet, it’s a lot of rehashed scraps from seasons past. Kudos to ParkSlop for making it LOOK like Mutt, NoDuh, and Gaybe gave enough shits to be there and contribute, but in a rare moment of clarity they made the correct choice to not be a part of this shameless scam any longer. America’s favorite Sheriff, NoDuh, did not make an appearance. He is currently practicing his chosen profession of … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S07:E08 Blazing A New Trail

Hey, it’s time for the all new, big, action packed 2-hour season finale of Alaskan Bullshit People! Actually, it’s about twenty minutes of new stuff surrounded rehashed bullshit and flashbacks. This episode is called Blazing A New Trail. Since the Brownklownz are in Colorado I’m guessing it was a different kind of blazing 😉 Let’s get started! The Brownklownz try and keep Mr. Crapcake from getting into the car. He doesn’t know how lucky he is. Next, Asa spends five minutes telling us what we’re going to see in the next two hours. Why? We’re watching the Godamn show why do … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S07:E07 A New Chapter

Alaskan Bush People Bear leaves a sign in Browntown

NOTE: There were some changes made to the timeline comments. My math was off. I apologize and have corrected it. Can you believe the bullshit is almost over? Next week is the big two hour season (and hopefully series) finale! Until then, we’ve had to sit through another ParkSlop gem. In the opening scene, Bore, Acidrain, and BirdBrain are still at the filming location wrapping up for their big farewell tour. The chuds want to leave a sign so that future peoples will know the Brownklownz were there. Bore makes a barely legible sign that they hang up high in a … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Living Large In Beverly Hills

For all the short-bus riding, helmet wearing, window licking fans of this shitshow that think this poor family needs their help, take a look at this! Thanks to Social Media, online groups and forums, and some not-so-bright Brown’s, we see that they are living it up in style at the Beverly Hills Hotel (about $1400 a night) and getting expensive spa treatments. What about their mother in her time of need? Screw that, this hotel has a BUFFET! See more on twitter (Y’know, that thing they never heard of because they lived wild in the bush and were only recently … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S07:E06 Bush Code

Surprisingly, this episode was a little easier to watch because America’s favorite incompetent twatwaffle, NoDuh, is not appearing in this episode. ParkSlop is now getting episode tips from Monty Python. We are reminded AGAIN that these events are happening in real time. Except that they are spliced together in some hap-hazard fashion to play to the narrative laid out by ParkSlop writers. For example, they make it seem like Scami is going through Chemo THEN BullshitBilly takes her and the chuds to Colorado where he says he will ‘pull over and build a house.‘ But, the trip to Colorado was … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap s07:E05 Weight Of The Wolfpack

Alaskan bush people eating butter

This episode is called “Weight of the Wolfpack.” Well, just with NoDuh and BirdBrain you’re talkin’ a good quarter ton. Oh, wait, they mean Weight as in emotional weight. Got it. I can’t ‘weight.’ In the pre-opener we are treated to some night-vision shots of Mutt, who is sleeping outside for some reason. He hears a ‘bear’ and scares it away. Keep this in mind as it plays into my theory that ParkSlop and Discoverup are trying to make it look like Mutt is the unfortunate victim of a simple accident that could happen to anyone. Let’s just go with … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S07:E04 Unanchored

Alaskan Bush People Noah red ribbon fairy

Another week another snooze inducing ‘Best Of’, ‘Lost Footage’ episode! If this shit wasn’t good enough to show us the first time, what the hell makes ParkSlop think it’s good enough to show now? My bet is they’re still trying to figure out how to play the whole cancer thing yet still play to their retarded fan base with a “bush lifestyle” tone. In the opening segment, the Pillsbury Dough Boy says that Bore left a ‘Fairy Circle’ on the ground. Was he hoping to catch the Village People? NoDuh tells us all about fairy circles. I think they edited … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S07:E03 Strength In Numbers

Alaskan Bush People move to Colorado

Breaking News: The hell with their mother’s health, the Chuds spent the 4th of July in Vegas at the Bellagio! Sorry… the BUSH Bellagio. I wonder if ParkSlop will cover that in their ‘real time’ coverage of events? Fear not. A few gullible fans took it upon themselves to start GoFundMe pages for the Brown’s. I shit you not. Online groups have been trying their best to have them shut down and have been successful so far. Let’s hope the Brownklownz don’t make any more money off gullible fans. No time to waste. Let’s get right down to it! In … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S07:E02 The Long Road

Let the bullshit countdown begin! Let’s see if the show can go more than 10 seconds without spouting the first bit of bullsh… And there it is! The narrator tells us that it has been weeks since NoDuh heard anything from his dull witted siblings regarding Scami’s condition. What, is the phone in your Hoonah Extended Stay broken? What about your bush cell phones? What about the ParkSlop production dildo’s following you around? You couldn’t borrow any of their phones to call AcidRain who’s cell phone is always hanging out of her back pocket when she poses for photos in … Continue reading

Noah Brown Wedding Rumored To Be In Colorado

Tonight the rumor mill is flying with reports that Noah Brown and Rhain (spelled differently of course) are getting married in Colorado tomorrow (June 24th). This has not been confirmed but we do know the Brownklownz were headed there a couple days ago and the film crew has been reported there as well. There are several posts on Instagram and Facebook that document the Brownklownz were in fact on the road and heading from Kaliforny to Colorado. Some sources point specifically to Dolores, Colorado. Why get married there? Why not Browntown? Oh well, who cares. We will continue to monitor … Continue reading

Alaskan Bush People Episode Recap S07:E01 Faith And Family

Billy Brown's Rolex

Allow me to take a moment before we start the review. Cancer is serious and we would never wish it or the suffering it brings upon anyone. We realize that there is still a serious situation going on in the background. Reports are that Ami has stage 4 lung cancer. Very bad news indeed and we truly hope she is able to beat this. Well, last week’s “Season Premier” turned out to be a complete turd, but have no fear because this week’s episode was… Well, also a turd. It prodded along at a snail’s pace and featured about as … Continue reading